What do we mean when we talk about work-life balance? Often, companies use the phrase to refer to the delicate balancing act many working parents perform as they struggle to delineate “work time” and “family time.” In honor of Working Parents Day, we spoke to Carrie Valek, President of Consumer Banking with First Merchants Bank. To her, “work-life balance” means something a little different.

“Discussions of work-life balance are often positioned so that ‘life’ comes at the expense of ‘work.’ I fundamentally don’t believe this to be true. Striving to achieve work-life balance can be a disappointing proposition,” she explained.

“I remember having an infant was by far the most challenging in terms of balancing my career and family needs,” she added. “My sons are only two years apart so there was an extended period where overnight business travel would lead to unspoken feelings of guilt – not to mention, physically, I was just tired. All that said, I loved my career and felt the sacrifices were offset by the reward, and everyone has to decide what is best for their unique circumstances. My decisions were right for me and my family.”

Instead, Carrie encourages working parents to focus on work-life integration – with appropriate boundaries.

“Over the years, my boys have been by my side, participating in community events as I represented First Merchants,” she said. “Similarly, my team has felt and supported my commitment to my family. Different moments in life require different levels of commitment. Some weeks require overnight travel which pulls away from family time, other weeks bring significant family milestones that can’t be missed. Your time will never be perfectly in balance.”

And, with that integration, she hopes her children have picked up valuable lessons about the workforce, and about what it means to hold down a job and be an active member of your family.

“I hope they learn that both work and non-work activities should be sources of joy,” she said. “I want them to realize that choosing the type of work you do is important. That’s why I encourage my boys to take the time to explore their interest, their passions, and their gifts. As a parent, I do my best to lean into their interest and foster their learning.”

It’s a lesson she learned, in part, from her own parents.

“I was taught that you have an obligation to leverage your gifts in a way that brings value to society – it’s why I chose a career and a company that are both purpose-driven,” she said. “My parents also taught me that work can be fun – and that you can make it fun for others! I’m grateful for the way my family shaped my views on work, and I strive to impart the same beliefs in my two sons.”

For parents who are still working to find a proper balance, or the right level of integration, Carrie says communication is key:

“Strong communication and planning skills coupled with being present in-the-moment can bring order to the chaos of juggling work-life integration,” she said.